Tuesday, April 27, 2010

The Insane Ones, Part 1: Jason Derulo

Dear Jason Derulo,

After hearing your annoying "In My Head" song, I've come to realize that you are CLEARLY not of sound mind. I have to wonder if you've sought out help for these hallucinations of yours, or if you are secretly stalking the one you're "seeing" in your head.

Not only are you seeing things, but the things you are seeing apparently shift and change, marking you as mid-grade schizophrenic at least.

Example, in your head, this "you" fulfills your fantasy, and in another mention the "you" is a criminal.

I have to wonder if the beginning of the "song" is also one of your delusions because you obviously haven't grasped something important; People do NOT go to clubs to find "love", they go to find either cock or a wet vagina to penetrate, or to get drunk and dance. People no longer go to clubs to find "love", they know better - they either find it on facebook, or other public places, but clubs and bars are for drinking, partying and whoring. I guarantee you that finding "love" is the last thing on someones mind.

It's also clear that you're really not looking for "love" yourself, unless you count skipping foreplay and going straight to the fucking as love. Me, I find that kind of sex to be just that; SEX. Plain old, nasty, filthy, hot wet sex. You also say that you'll be a teacher and show the ropes, perhaps this means you harbor fantasies of the young? Just a thought..

Obviously you've built this illusory world to sustain yourself, otherwise you'd not be singing about seeing these things in your head, you'd be singing about actually having done them.

Coming soon, Lady GooGoo, Justin Beaver, Spe$Huh, and anyone who's won on American Igganunt. If you can't figure out who I'm talking about then you probably shouldn't be here in the first place because you're the type of person this site was made to talk to.

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